Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
