Christians are straight up FREAKS
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
