You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
