You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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