Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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