Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The air was thick with penises
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
