I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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