My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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