oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My ass is underappreciated
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
