I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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