Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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