I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
