you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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