Whats the glycemic index on semen?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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