How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
