So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Your dad touched me again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
