The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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