dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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