I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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