Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we're making bets on your personal life
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
