Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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