put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
