is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
