ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
