he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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