Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
