Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
