my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize