im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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