Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
