Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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