I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
