You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
