At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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