I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
