Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
