I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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