I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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