I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
