update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
