She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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