Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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