She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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