Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Mom said you looked used
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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