Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
sex in a hospital.. check
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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