I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She bit a glass in half.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want her autograph on my taint
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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