sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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