his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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