Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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