the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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