guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
