you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need a beard to bite.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
