dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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