ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
