I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
