Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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