I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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