It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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