brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
