so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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