ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
