Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
