im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
