Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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