I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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